transitions as transformation
using the changing of the seasons as a guide to inner transformation
it’s been a weird week.
in the few conversations i’ve had within my social circle there has been something in the air. at any given time there’s so much to be doing, and feelings of burnout and malaise are on the tip of people’s tongue as we have been catching up this week.
to add, the weather here in colorado has been moody: some days presenting the piercing sunlight i moved here for, but most days it has been below freezing, hazy, and downright miserable. as someone who lives 70% of my time on my balcony, it’s been keeping my inside more and the cabin fever is getting real.
while it’s not quite spring yet (maybe Theo Von would disagree), i can tell we are through the worst of winter, especially as days get longer and we seem to be past the coldest days of the year. this transition between the seasons is part of the ever-changing yearly growth cycle, and humans are not exempt from this natural course.
we are more in tune with the weather than we think— especially when you consider how long (thousands, millions, billions of years?) we’ve spent living outdoors prior to the invention of modern house construction and air conditioning. while we may be affected by strange weather (not to mention the blustering cultural, economical, and political climates), there is some beauty in also allowing ourselves to match mother nature’s state and be messy, moody, and fickle as we transition from the burrowing winter and emerge in a sensational spring.
since living according to the seasons is such a new concept for me, i’m still not feeling 100% ready to go into spring, a highly active period of time. since i didn’t allow myself to fully rest & recharge this winter, i’m making the most of the remaining winter i have left to prioritize my sleep, nourish my body with home-cooked meals, and create stillness throughout my day. i even took a week off of work as a last stand.
each fall, i idealize the onsetting winter being a slow, dark, and cold few months without social plans or obligations resulting in limitless time to myself— but i’m now realizing this may just be a pipe-dream, unsure whether i’ll ever quite get that quantity and quality of space. i cannot tell if that pull is due to my innate introversion, burnout from the year, or hints of depression peaking out— but creating space to rest has been on my mind each year for a while now, and each year i seem to miss the mark.
one of my favorite things to do when it snows here is to strap on my microspikes and get out in the newly deafened world. i rarely see other people out which makes bracing the weather all the more worthwhile. the winter reminds me of it’s intent: the soft death of nature; trees and plants resting before a flourishing spring. by the next day the weather has already changed, melting off what it poured down the day prior and sometimes stirring crisp breezes or musty cloud-cover around.
it’s all part of the transformation between these seasons, and just like mother nature, we have to allow ourselves to have all sorts of days— quiet days, emotional days, expansive days, or basking days.
despite my love for routine, when the weather is turbulent like this it’s a good reminder that we aren’t machines executing programs or scripts on each blank day. we are more like trees, making the most of what we are given, rooted in the moment. some days we get more water, other days we get more sunlight, while other days we enjoy swaying in the wind or days of stillness.
maybe we aren’t broken or “down”, we just aren’t listening close enough to know what we need: deep rest, more connection, days to sway in the wind.
lately i’m letting myself ride the waves of each day, letting the day determine what i get or need moment by moment. the relief comes when you give up the control to force your day to your will and instead play it by ear.
if i am tired, i rest
if i’m excited, i work on my passion projects
if i need human connection, i reach out
if i need grounding, i do breathwork
when we break away from strict routines and melt away any expectations for how we want our days to go— feeling each mood to it’s fullest then responding appropriately— we grow organically.
and when we do that day in and day out, just like nature, we transform.