lately, i’ve been scattered— spinning too many plates at once; attempting to bite off more than i can chew, and ultimately not giving anything the attention i intend to. with so many threads open these days, i may just unravel into a pile of yarn.
without being able to catch up with myself in time, i’ve caught myself spouting life advice that i myself do not follow. it’s been a real wake-up call to me about my own habits and routines these days. i may tell myself i eat clean everyday, but in reality, it’s sparse at best.
why is that? where is the disconnect?
why do we resist the simple, often immediately attainable actions that give our lives such stability?
is discipline wrong?
i suspect it isn’t strictly a willpower issue, but rather the need to reframe our mindset surrounding discipline and how it shows up in our lives.
growing up as the eldest son in a military-religious household, discipline meant early mornings, rules, and corporal punishment. for a while, i rejected these traditional forms of discipline, seeing them as the antithesis to authenticity and living from the heart; but now i know to separate the method from the intention behind it, which is to enforce action.
objectively, action is the only measure worth tracking when evaluating a person to determine their values. for any given idea, you can only be 1) thinking about it 2) talking about it, or 3) doing it. thinking doesn’t directly affect our reality, and we all know talk is cheap, leaving us with doing it.
in order to instigate this new mindset in my life surrounding discipline, i did what any hip corporate marketing team would do; a rebrand.
i call this new relationship “loving-accountability”, as opposed to stone-cold traditional discipline.
loving-accountability
loving-accountability differs from traditional discipline in that it considers the human-being as a tenet in the spiritual-growth equation.
for example, you don’t stop smoking because “you should” or “it will save you money”, all the while getting frustrated with your apparent lack of willpower.
instead, you stop smoking because you love yourself, want to protect your lungs, and live as long as you can. you can still feel the desire to smoke, but by choosing love-of-self as the method of discipline, there is no excuse for you partaking.
in my life, loving-accountability means occasionally not getting up at 5 am when i could use the sleep, but also not allowing myself to skip multiple workouts. choosing things that are doable, yet not exactly a walk in the park. graceful enforcement.
it’s a continuous check-in with yourself, and these days i employ what Cal Newport inspires others to do:
pick 2-3 daily actions that move you towards goals that improve your well-being
for this upcoming month i chose to do the following habits everyday
write 20 min
perform calisthenics 20 min
meditate 20 min
here’s to taking action on important values in my life, everyday.
food for thought
what is the smallest action you could take to improve something important to you?
I love it, practice what you can each day as best you can and it will move you in the direction you want to go.